the more i think the more i learn.... of what?? how to be free?? ney its how much more a prisoner i am. a prisoner of the world and its ideals. a prisoner of the law. a prisoner of my body a prisoner of my mind.
for the more i venture out the more it hurts. like a bonsai tree my roots cant grow deeper than the base of the pot. my branches not more than a foot. yet i am expected to bear fruit as much as those growing wild in the forest.
but is that really what i want?? to be wild and free with no one to control you no one to guide you no one to protect u.
do i really want the harsh wind and rain in my face the soil with all its creatures between my toes?? the thought of it scares me. what if i cant take the pain?? what if it only makes me weaker and not stronger?? can a fish really live among the sharks can a bird among eagles??
the more i thought the more i believed freedom and safety can be achieved by being secluded in a dark quiet place. a place where ones senses are deep in sleep. where one is not disturbed by anyone or anything. a deep dark eternity of silence....
but isn't that as good as death?? what am i coming to?? ultimate seclusion?? death without dying?? is this what i want??
no!! of-course not!! i want to live. i want to breath. yes i want to be as wild like a stallion... i want to be as strong as the trees of the rainforest. yes i want to fall and get up. to laugh and cry.... i want freedom not from the events of this world.
i want to be free to feel